TBT: The Day I Realized I Was An Anxious Black Girl

It was around the end of my junior year when I realized something wasn’t right with me. I just didn’t feel like myself. In the beginning, I simply wrote it off as the stress that comes with college and the juggling of multiple responsibilities. I was working three jobs at the time, anticipating graduation and trying to manage my heavy college course load.

First came the recurrent headaches. Then the upset stomach, and that choking feeling. There was shortness of breath — and that feeling of something weighing heavy on my chest. Before I knew it, I was in a full-on panic. But I didn’t know it was a panic at the time. I had no idea what the heck was going on with my body.

So, these mini-panic attacks happened at least three times a day for about three weeks straight, leaving me feeling completely depleted. I could barely function. I was irritable all the time and felt myself withdrawing. I wasn’t until I was headed to class on the third floor of the social sciences building that I felt another “episode” coming on.

By the time I reached the top of the stairs, I was out of breath and dizzy. I quickly rushed to the wall for support and slowly slid to the floor. I felt like crap. Luckily, my class mate was coming around the corner and saw something was wrong. She helped me up and we walked into class. The panic subsided.

Although it was short, that last attack was pretty scary for me because I felt like I was gonna pass out. Something was clearly wrong, but I just didn’t know what. Knowing my mom struggled with anxiety and panic attacks in the past ultimately prompted me to do a little research for myself. Lo and behold, I was dealing with the same thing.

A week later, I scheduled an appointment with the campus counseling services.

Moral of the story: take care of yourself ❤

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